Comments on: Is this cheating? Searching personal ads, phoning from ads, meeting for ‘just drinks’ but no sex, kissing etc?

By: Just Natalie K

Just Natalie K — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 16:28:09 +0000

If you feel like your relationship is in jeopardy due to his behavior then you must take steps to leave what seems to be a very emotionally abusive relationship. Your weight does not seem to be the issue but a deflection for when he gets caught doing things that are considered “cheating” or “wrong”, there for he gets defensive. I feel leaving is your only choice before things start to get psychical.

By: wattie

wattie — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 01:03:55 +0000

He is an @rsehole! Get out now while you still have a shred of dignity left! He is not only treating you like dirt by looking for other women but he’s using the oldest and dirtiest trick in the book by trying to turn it around on you! Someone who loves you would never hurt you and damage your ego just so that they can get their own way!
Face up to the fact that this guy is a scumbag who is taking you for an idiot who will just stay with him and put up with his cr*p if he keeps chipping away at your self esteem and making you believe he is doing you a favour by being with you.
This sort of thing is so cliched and predictible and is usually done by selfish@ards who have never grown up.Let’s face it, this guy thinks he’s cleverer than you and can get you to do exactly what he wants!You should give him the shock of his life and kick him out!!! Then maybe he’ll realise that you aren’t as stupid as he took you for.
This guy has absolutely no respect for you and he probably doesn’t have respect for any woman! Get rid of him and find some self confidence and eventually you will find someone who really loves you and is not just trying to manipulate you.
Good Luck x.

By: bks

bks — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 04:54:23 +0000

yes! it could turn in to something more, And he should not be talking to any other female about your personal problems he should be trying to work them out with you not some eles. Stop it before something does start.

By: ninebadthings

ninebadthings — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 02:50:46 +0000

We all have our own definition of cheating. To me having drinks is a date, kissing is cheating. Going to bars or making a yahoo ad is shopping. The bottom line is that the guy is over you and is just hanging around until he finds someone new. Why make it that easy for him? Loose some weight and find someone with a little more class.

By: Mona Lisa

Mona Lisa — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 20:13:08 +0000

You are being treated with enormous disrespect, and you are being emotionally abused by this man. Also, yes, he is cheating. There is no excuse for this behavior–not your weight, or anything else.

The question is what you do about it. You will certainly receive a lot of advice to leave, and I agree with that. But I also hope that you will get some individual professional counseling. (I doubt he will go to couples counseling.)

Good luck with this.

By: Glenn J

Glenn J — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 12:43:01 +0000

Lynne, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and smells like a duck, is it a swan?

If these kids are your kids, take em and go. If they are not, give em back and leave or kick him out.

He makes issues of your weight and has covert phone buddies and online friends he meets, then he is stepping out on you even if he isn’t screwing them.

You are his babysitter. This goes beyond whether or not you are the fat, needy girlfriend. Sounds like you have a pretty low self-image, so I suggest you find someone to discuss your problems with, and if you are concerned about your weight and the loyalty of your man, then there is only one person who can change those things..you.

Just don’t go at it half-assed. Go all the way. If you want to lose weight, take all the money you would waste on the man and buy a gym membership and a personal trainer to ensure you don’t stop going.

By: Brian Mcgee

Brian Mcgee — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 04:31:37 +0000

It sound like a form of cheating…. emotional rather an physical though; however can be very dangerous…
First of all, if he needs someone to talk to it should be you. Maybe you need to try to let him talk to you about problems without “getting emotional” as he puts it, then he’ll have no excuse to go to these other women. If you can’t talk about things sensibly and work out problems together then where does that leave you for the future?
Good luck

By: domnika

domnika — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 14:41:51 +0000

Damn,that a difficult situation…I guess in this case not to make him feel comfortable…you’re too mummy with him,make him dinner,stay with kids…is there something that you like in all this or is it all just cos you got used to him…He wants to see other women to boost his ego,that he still didn’t loose it…I mean blaming you for his problems is not a solution.Either you have to make a big decision and step out of the role of baby-sitter for him and his kids and start all over…or suffer the consequnces and getting worse,maybe evenend up cheated and used…sorry,but that is my opinion…hope i didn’t make too painful

By: Bo

Bo — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 21:34:00 +0000

Ask his ex why they seperated.

By: lisa

lisa — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 15:02:41 +0000

All the things you listed are wrong for a man to do who is in a relationship.He’s abusing you emotionally.Don’t lose weight to keep him. do it for yourself if you even want to lose weight.Just because a women gains a few pounds doesn’t give a man the right to cheat, he sounds like an ass.Your the mother of his children he should respect you.