It should be pretty obvious that the only way you are going to get to know a girl is to sit down with her and ask her questions. I’ve seen lots of lists of dumb “date questions” for you to ask like “If you could have one super power, what would it be?” but these just come off as forced routines that don’t really bring the two of you closer together. Plus, they just kill all attraction between you and the woman.

“Date questions” are the worst, and you should just give up on them.Instead, just allow a discussion with the girl happen automatically. These sorts of questions are just a crutch that guys use to help ease the jitters that they get when they are eager to impress a woman.Unfortunately, all these lines will only hurt you. Stop thinking so much and just be aware of what is going on in the moment with you and her. Pay attention to how she responds to things and start to really care about her experience.  You’ll never be at a loss for words .

A lot of guys get stuck asking “yes/no” questions. Stop doing this, if you find that you do it. This will turn awkward quickly as your conversation starts to feel like an interview.

Do you live nearby? – Yes.

Do you work in town? – Yep.

Do you have a dog? – No.

Do all these dumb questions bother you? – Yes.

Open-ended questions are a lot better because they make the woman offer something personal to the conversation.

What do you think about the XYZ District of town? – Oh! I love that place!  In fact, I just got an apartment there!

Really?  What do you like so much about it? – I like all the history and character there. blah blah blah.

You get the picture here.

Ask her things about her life experiences. Try to really see things from her perspective and how she feels. Keep taking things deeper by asking the woman things like “how did you feel when that happened?” or “What was XXX like?”  Also watch her reactions and behaviors when she talks about things.  Ask her questions like “You seemed a little unsure when you were talking about your job. Tell me more about that.”  This often uncovers things that the girl didn’t even know about herself.

Once you do this a few times, you will start to feel a very intense connection that will make it seem like the two of you are in a bubble, alone from the rest of the world. You can be in the noisiest bar out there, but it will seem like you have her all to yourself.

Doesn’t that sound so much better than “If you were a song, what kind would you be?”

So, just ditch the stupid date questions and just have a real legitimate conversation. Just show up to the interaction and let things unfold automatically. Ask questions to the woman and start to really get an understanding about her life. Go ahead and ask her anything, as long as you actually care about her answer.

If you liked this article, please also check out how to pickup women, how to ask questions to a girl, and how to start conversations with girls.

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