A breakup is a rotten thing for anyone to have to go through, but you don’t have to despair about it. Even when it seems like things are unravelling with the one your love, rest assured that it is indeed possible to pull it back together…and I can help you do that!

I’ve consolidated all of the various things involved in the reunion process into three simple-to-understand stages. Each one has a fair amount involved with it, but I’ll do my best to convey the idea as completely as possible.

Stage 1 – Cut Off Contact:
I know it seems like the last thing you’d want to do, but in truth the smartest and best move directly after a breakup is to sever your ties with your ex and just give him/her some space to breathe and time to think. Pushing him/her too much right now isn’t going to help you much, and you have enough to worry about on the home front.

Relationships always end because one person just wasn’t getting what he/she needed out of the partnership, and it got so desperate that he/she had to go looking for it elsewhere. It’s harsh I know, but if you’re the one who got left it means that there was something you were falling short on, or something specific you were doing wrong. Your goal right now is to figure out exactly what that was, and make whatever compromises or sacrifices you have to in order to eliminate that issue. It seems like an awful lot, but it’s the only way to truly fix the problems between you two.

Stage 2 – Rebuild Contact:
Figuring out and fixing all the problems you’re responsible for in the relationship can take a while, so most of the time once that’s all taken care of or at least well-started, enough time has passed so that you can contact your ex again. Keep this first one light and nonaggressive…a phone call or email is good, and get no more personal than “how have you been?” “Nonthreatening” is the word here.

If that went without conflict, it’s probably all good to go ahead and slowly build contact back up with the odd phone call or email here and again. Don’t push things too quickly, or you’ll drive your ex away, but take things slowly and you’ll probably end up spending some decent time together. Use the times you’re with each other to passively remind your ex of how great the two of you used to fit, by doing things the both of you always enjoyed as a couple. The memories combined with the new and improved you should really soften up your ex to the idea of reuniting and possibly even make it be his/her idea.

Stage 3 – Keeping Your Ex:
If all this works and you get back together (if you did it right, the odds are in your favor), you have to do your best to KEEP your ex again. You can’t revert to your old ways that caused the breakup in the first place, or else it’ll end again…and getting back together twice is a lot tougher than just once. Keep the changes you’ve made to yourself…it’ll see you through some tough times.

Remember when you’re using this 3-stage system that it’s almost entirely based on passive techniques. The most proactivity and aggression you’ll be demonstrating should be with yourself, getting your flaws and issues sorted out. When dealing with your ex, the last thing you want to do is scare him/her away, so always work on simply letting your ex see your dedication for him/herself. It’s amazing how effective it can be.

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