By Dean Cortez, creator of M.A.C.K. Tactics

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Dean, I was having drinks recently with a group of girls and we started talking about relationships. I asked them, “What is the #1 most attractive quality you look for in a guy?” They all agreed that a “sense of humor” is the biggest thing.

Is this really true, or are they just trying to make us think they’re not shallow? In reality, won’t they always prefer a dude who looks like a Calvin Klein underwear model and has a lot of money?   

-Brad, New York City

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Hey, Dean Cortez here. I have also found that asking women about the qualities they find most attractive, most women WILL say “a sense of humor”. Why do women seem to put so much importance on whether a guy is funny or not? Does a sense of humor actually turn them on?

Well, no. Not really. I’ve known guys who were the “class clown” in high school, and were extremely funny, but they were utterly hopeless with getting women. But do women actually find a sense of humor, in itself, attractive?    

The truth is that women value the qualities that a sense of humor implies. When women think about a guy with a sense of humor, they imagine someone who knows how to have fun, who is confident and social, and isn’t predictable and boring?”, “What do you do for fun?” etc); and who enjoys good conversation. They could care less about a guy who knows a bunch of jokes and acts like a goofball at parties.

Having a sense of humor, and using it subtly, is important for getting her into a relaxed mindset. It’s part of the process of learning how to romance a girl. It will get you in the door and inject positive momentum into the conversation. But it’s not a quality that is going to flip her “switches” and make her feel sexual attraction. Once you’ve got her in that relaxed mind frame, you’ve got to take the reigns and keep moving the conversation in that direction.  

Is telling a gut-busting joke going to convince a woman to jump into bed with you? Never. Is she looking to date the funniest guy in the room, who’s constantly firing off hilarious one-liners? No. Men who try to keep things light and funny at all times are trying to cover up their inability to “get real” and create deep, interesting conversation.  

When you use humor correctly (being witty and sharp is the goal, not “funny”), another benefit is that it masks your intentions, whatever your goal with her may be. You don’t need to know romantic conversation starters. Remember this: we naturally feel uncomfortable when we know (or just sense) that a person wants something from us. (This is why I hate going to car lots — the salesman come at you like vultures.)

In most instances when an attractive girl is approached by a guy, she immediately sense that he wants something (to buy her a drink, get her phone number, arrange a date, etc.) and her force field cranks up to Level 10. Then, when he opens the conversation in a cliché way, she knows he’s just trying to get something from her, and she tunes out.

But if you start things off on a light, humorous note this will help bring down her "shield". But it won’t eliminate it. To do that, you’ll have to use conversational techniques such as Teases and Qualifiers to keep things moving in the right direction. The Mack Tactics book is filled with these techniques, and you’ll find that you can get a girlfriend very easily when you use them.

Your Wingman,

Dean Cortez

MackTactics.com

 

 

 

 

 

   

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