You see your significant other approaching. That same old familiar feeling hits your stomach just the same as it does when you see a car crash happening seconds before it actually does. You can tell that the infamous break up speech is soon to come and one of you will have bad feelings about the whole situation. This feeling can go on forever.
You think back to the moment that you and this wonderful individual met the previous year. How you just couldn't sleep until you saw her again. Each word that came out of her mouth was adorable and her sense of humor was simply wonderful. You both seem to share in everything together and the entire world like rainbows and silly string. Somewhere along the line, however, evil had crept its way in. The roses have seemed to wilt away. The romance fizzled. When he pops his gum it sounds like someone dying. The way she crinkles her nose reminds you of Mrs. Piggy and sex is non-existent.
It’s believed that in every relationship, there’s at least one time where someone considers The Break Up. Most try to figure out how and why it turned sour but you rarely find someone willing to fix it. It is of course important to try and figure out what happened. But you shouldn't waste your time analyzing every bit of it. It is much more important to learn how to fix it.
The following are the Three Fix Methods that are Doomed to Fail:
1. The Method of Stubborn Pride
Why should I change? Why should all the work done in this relationship be done by me? This method ensures that no one makes a move to change anything and puts someone in the role as victim. This puts the couple against each other.
2. The Mexican Stand Off Method
If he takes the first step and goes to a counselor, then I will go. If she will quit, I will. That method will guarantee misery if the couple continue the relationship, and eventually breaking up will be the solution.
3. Bait and Switch
This one is the "If you only loved me enough, you would try to change" speech. The sender of this message is wanting to lay all the blame on the receiver until they realize the fact that "I should not have to change, you should love as I am"?
The real method that actually works, is so simple that it even sounds a bit like an old cliché. You can only work on YOU and no one else. You have been lost in the relationship. The relationship overshadowed you and you’re stagnant in the cesspool of denial and hatred. But, that can all change!
The first and most important thing you need to do is stay true to the self that you were before you entered into the relationship. That is the person he/she fell for. Not because you were a neat freak or because you could remember all the anniversaries. But because you used to be a great YOU.
Next, let go of all that negativity. Forgive and forget is an important statement that needs to be learned. It is the key. Believe me, this is easier to do when you are working on you. When you argue and throw names back and forth you put the relationship back in the cycle of negativity. Before you try to save the remains of your relationship, ask yourself this: Do you say anything NEW? Don't you really just re-play the same record in a new location.
Lastly, execute! Before any changes are made, however, make sure you're doing it for yourself! Remember, you cannot pretend to be someone you're not. If you pretend or do it for your partner, it will not work. The great thing is, you can start today.
You'll see a remarkable change in your love life and it will happen almost overnight. You will be seen as you really were before. And, you'll be busy being you. Breaking up will no longer be the answer.
Tags: break up, breaking up, Relationship, the break up
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